Weekly World News reports that passenger hypnotherapy, hypnosis and underwear removal will become a crucial part of airline security in 2010.
Some genius came up with the notion of having airlines to require all passengers and crew, except the pilot, of course, to be hypnotized throughout every flight. This is intended as a security measure, because “Being under a hypnotic trance makes it nearly impossible to stage any kind of attack, and all hypnotic messaging will be designed to minimize aggressive attitudes.”
File this one under “it seemed like a great idea, but…”
- No one can be hypnotized against their will. Terrorists are not likely to cooperate.
- Terrorists could be hypnotically conditioned to only allow one person to hypnotize them. Presumably, that one person would be a member of their own terrorist group.
- No one will accept suggestions that conflict with their morals or values. Terrorists believe in their cause, and in violence as a method of political action. Suggestions to “minimize aggressive attitudes” would be useless.
- A hypnotized person can come out of trance at will, at any time.
- In the early 20th century, an experimenter had hypnotized people riding exercise bikes. Hypnotized people are able to do anything that they can in their normal states of consciousness.
- Officials in the Homeland Security Department and FAA are not going to risk a political uproar over hypnosis from Congress, airline executives and the the general public who share many misconceptions and unfounded fears of hypnosis.
And the underpants? “All passengers will be expected to prove they are not wearing underpants as the garment is too easy to hide explosives or drugs in.”
Yep, there are legitimate security concerns, but are we really afraid that runway model’s thong might just be made from 3 pounds of exploding cocaine?
Weekly World News has apparently been a little hypnotized themselves by misconceptions about hypnosis. In flight hypnosis could certainly make passengers more relaxed and the flight more pleasant for them, but it would not prevent terrorist attacks or improve security.