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Reason Number 4 Why Self Hypnosis May Not Work (And What to do About It)
Posted by: In: Atlanta hypnosis, atlanta hypnotherapy, goals, self help, self hypnosis 10 Jul 2011 0 comments

THE GOALS ARE TOO VAGUE, IMPOSSIBLE, OR WORSE

Goals are best defined in a way that is specific and concrete. You can ask yourself questions like, “What will I see that lets me know I have reached my outcome?” Let’s suppose your goal is financial independence. You will be able to see X dollars in investments, a monthly income from those investments or your business of X dollars, a house with the loan paid off, etc.

More questions to ask yourself include: How will you act differently? How will your daily activities reflect your financial independence?

The more precisely you define your outcome, the easier it will be for your unconscious mind to understand it and give you exactly what you want. For example, “I practice self hypnosis ten minutes every day” is much better than “I do something to achieve my goal on a regular basis”. “something to achieve my goal” is vague, while doing self hypnosis for a ten minutes daily is easily observable and measurable.

In my hypnosis practice in Atlanta, I have had clients ask for such poorly thought out goals as “Make me stop eating!” Their intention is to lose weight, of course. However, given that the unconscious mind takes suggestions literally, the flaw in their request is obvious. So, I asked them the obvious question, “If I were to do that, won’t you die?” And, the clients always responded, “I didn’t mean that”.

That goal was both impossible and certainly would have been unfortunate for them if they had gotten it.

Hint: Remember that the goal is not the method, and be careful to ask for exactly what you want and how you want it. You might get that goal exactly the way that you asked for it.

To learn a comprehensive method of creating effective goals, see my articles: Well Formed New Years Resolutions parts one through three. (part 1) (part 2) (part 3)

Well Formed New Year’s Resolutions Part 1
Posted by: In: goals, NeuroLinguistic Programming, new years resolutions, NLP, well formed outcome 13 Jan 2010 0 comments

Following a simple series of steps in constructing goals can make all the difference between failure and success. This series of blog posts based on a technique from NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) will offer you a powerful set of questions and steps to make sure that you can and will accomplish your important goals and new year’s resolutions.

This first post in the series outlines the steps in defining your goal in a way that is specific enough to be attainable.

So what are the qualities of an achievable goal?

It is stated in the positive.

If you tell your server at a restaurant that you do not want pizza, cob salad, or pork chow mien, will you get what you actually want?

Our unconscious minds tend move us towards what we focus on. Focusing on the negative will only cause you to get more of what you don’t want. If you focus on “not failing”, for example, you may well find yourself failing more, because you are focusing your energies on failing. Or even worse, you may give up before even starting. After all, how can you fail if you never even try?

For example, the following goal, “I want to stop procrastinating at work” is stated in the negative. Stated in the positive it might be, “I want to make all my sales calls in the morning.”


Is your goal something that is under your control?

If your goal depends on someone else doing something, they control the outcome, not you. Of course, you can acquire the exquisite communication skills to influence others to do things that you want. However, having flexibility in your thinking and behaviors allows you to pursue your goals independently of other’s actions.

For example, “I want my boss to remind me to make my sales calls” depends on the boss. A better goal would be “I want to making my sales calls a daily habit.”

Is the goal based on specific, sensory based description?

How will you look when you have reached your goal? What will you see, feel, hear, smell and taste that will let you know you have reached your goal? How will you be different in your behavior?

You would know, again using our example, that making your sales calls has become a habit when you pick up your phone and begin making calls within ten minutes of arriving at work for three weeks running. You will see the records of the calls, and sales in your log. You will see your sales numbers increasing compared to last year. You will hear the voices of your customers and yourself as you speak on the phone.

Is the chunk size appropriate?

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at time.

How does this apply to our example, “I want to stop procrastinating at work”? Will you be ending all the procrastination, all at once? Or, will you start by making the sales calls to potential new customers first thing? Then begin getting the paperwork for new sales done by Friday noon? And, after that will you regularly begin making follow up calls to potential customers every three months?

It is particularly essential that large goals be thought of in steps small enough to be easily achieved to avoid overwhelm.

Just taking a goal through all the steps in the well formed goal procedure can help clarify the goal tremendously. And, that can increase the likelihood of making the goal a reality tremendously. The rest of the questions in a Well Formed Outcome are listed in parts two and three of this series of posts.

Well Formed New Year’s Resolutions Part 2
Posted by: In: goals, NeuroLinguistic Programming, new years resolutions, NLP, well formed outcome 13 Jan 2010 0 comments

Using the ‘Well Formed Outcome” from NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) to make goals and new years resolutions can be a useful way to make sure that they are constructed in a way that maximizes the chance of success.

In Well Formed New Year’s Resolutions Part 1 we discovered a series of questions that help us form resolutions and goals that are stated in the positive, in terms of what can be seen, felt, heard, tasted or touched and in a way that presupposes that we ourselves can accomplish them, without depending on anyone else changing to accommodate us.

The next questions are:

How will you know when you have it? (Evidence procedure)

It is important to make sure that your evidence procedure gives meaningful feedback. For Example if your goal is to “to stop procrastinating at work “ and your evidence is that you are feeling good at the end of the day, you need a different kind of evidence. Feeling good at the end of the day is great, but seeing a 50% increase in the number of calls on your call log over the previous year’s average would be a much more useful measure of your having accomplished your goal.

Where, when and with whom do you want it? (context)

One of my partners in an NLP training exercise said that he wanted to be “calm, and focused.” I asked him, “Where, when and with whom do you want it?” He replied, “Always, everywhere, and with everyone.”

He was a high school principal, so I asked, “So if your football team wins the state championship, you want to be calm and focused? How about when making love to your wife? Or, when you walk down the isle to give your daughter’s hand in marriage, or the first time you hold your grandchild?”

Of course, he said “no” to all of those questions.

After a little more digging, it turns out that the specific time, place and context that he wanted to be calm and focused was in a parent conference dealing with disciplinary issues with a student. Apparently, he had been getting a little flustered in those kinds of conferences.

Is it sensory-based?

What will you see, feel, hear, and taste in the appropriate context that will automatically trigger the new choices?

Just answering these questions will help you form new years resolutions that are achievable, and the process of answering the questions is a great first step in making them happen.

Well Formed New Year’s Resolutions Part 3
Posted by: In: goals, NeuroLinguistic Programming, new years resolutions, NLP 13 Jan 2010 0 comments

In Well Formed New Year’s Resolutions Part 1 we discovered that resolutions and goals that are stated in the positive, in terms of what can be seen, felt, heard, tasted or touched and in a way that presupposes that we ourselves can accomplish them, is a powerful way to achieve them. In part 2, we answered questions that will make certain that the goals and resolutions are specific enough to let us begin creating workable action steps, and an evidence procedure that will allow us to know if and when we have succeeded.

This last set of questions is designed to help us detect any internal conflicts, to make sure that there are no likely negative consequences of reaching our goals, and to choose our first action step .

“How will your desired outcome affect your life?”

Make sure you have considered all of the possible consequences of getting your goals, and how your life may be impacted. For example: One hypnotherapist had a client who insisted that he be hypnotized to always be in the now. When that was done he realized that he had amnesia for all of his past experience. At that point he realized the need to consider all the consequences of getting his wish.

“What stops you from already having your desired outcome?”

Is it some limiting belief or learning? That belief may just need to be updated first. For example, I have had a few of my female hypnosis clients tell me that they wanted to get thinner. However, they did not want to have to deal with the increased attention from men that would come along with a more slender figure. The limiting belief that I addressed was that the only way to deter unwanted male attention was to be fat. There is a simple solution for that problem. But, that is a story that is best saved for later.

“What resources do you already have that can be utilized to get your outcome?”

Internal resources include all of the things that you have already learned to do, all of the things you have seen, felt and heard. All of the places you have been, the people you have watched do so many different things. The question is, how can you put this information together into new configurations and use it in a new way?

External resources include the people you know who have already achieved a similar type of outcome. They can teach or inspire you to find new choices for yourself. Have you thought of asking that person how they do it?

External physical resources including money, an office, land, tools, etc. This is a good time to consider what has to happen first, remember the elephant? Small bites!

“What additional resources do you need to in order to get your goal?”
“How are you going to get there?”
How many ways do you have of getting there?

Flexibility is the key. The more ways you have of getting to a particular goal the more likely you will achieve it. How many ways can you get from Georgia to San Francisco? Have you considered taking a boat around the world and coming in the back way? Driving a tractor? Taking a train? Asking Daisy to ride with you on a bicycle built for two? The more choices you create, and options that you consider the greater your chances of success.

What is the first step?

You want to earn more money? What would be a reasonable first step, something you could do that would move you even a little bit closer to your goal? Remember, bite sized pieces. That elephant will be gone before you know it, and you will need to go grocery shopping again.

Taking the time to create your goals and new years resolutions by answering the questions of the well formed goals technique from NLP (NeuroLinguistic Programming) is a great way to make sure that they are achievable and motivating.